Tanked, Orlander 2

by Hoosenberg

Oh, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Orlando 2 brought a new batch of 250 pilots to the series, on a track that was eerily similar to the first Orlando round. Chaos reigned supreme as crashes, injuries and sub par rides rained down on the track when it was uncovered much like Mother Nature did this week when it was covered.

I mean, what did we expect, kicking off a West Series in Orlando? In an ass backwards year, only the abnormal is normalcy.

A record number of 250 West riders were hired, but when qualifying tickets were handed out, the Brown & Bailey Circus was closed down. Back to back in national numbers, well into the mid 60s, which seems balmy after record low temps this week. Nevertheless, the 65 of Carson and 66 of Jordan reminded us not only of the absolute travesty that riders can achieve such high “rankings” with a mere 7 rounds of a regional Supercross series, but the complete inability for us to trust anyone with a black background on their bike for the most.

However, in a year full of curveballs, the 65 & 66 couldn’t close the deal on our first Tanked co-honors, despite 34.2% and 34.7% of teams hiring them for $319k and $170k.

Nope, in the cruelest of curveballs, it was the Star Bulldog, Jeremy Martin, who snatched the Tanked crowd in Orlando. Look, I’m a Midwest guy. I love Jeremy’s story. But when you’re a multi-time champ, in a make or break year for your career, and the baddest dude on the gate, there’s no excuse for not doubling out of the first turn in the middle of the pack. Instead, seconds into the race, JMart and his $702k salary got landed on and suffered a vicious crash.

The end result, a DNF, 2 points for 35% of the team managers that hired him, and this weeks Tanked Crown. Oh, and 2 weeks for many of us to dwell on what we did wrong. And remember that we missed out on BBQ sauce prizes. Dammit. 

Next stop, Daytona. In the meantime, let’s go retro and have some fun.